


These Are The Days

by DC_bookfanatic



Category: Chicago Med
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Best Friends, Death, Feelings, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gun Violence, Married Couple, Pain, Support, True Love, joy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-01-29 21:31:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21416998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DC_bookfanatic/pseuds/DC_bookfanatic
Summary: A mass casualty event ends in an unexpected way.
Relationships: Ava Bekker & Connor Rhodes (Chicago Med), Ava Bekker/Connor Rhodes (Chicago Med)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 40





	1. Fix You

**Author's Note:**

> I'm finally posting this dumb fic! Well, it's not dumb (at least I don't think so) in fact it's the work I'm most proud of as of now but it has taken me literally forever to finish this thing! I liked it, then I didn't, then I changed it, then I changed it some more and I'm still writing the ending, hence the reason I divided this fic into chapters, but that's going smoothly and hopefully I won't get writer's block on this story again.
> 
> I did want to mention this chapter is filled with the aftermath of a mass shooting. I, in no way, intend any disrespect to those who have witnessed something so terrible. I portrayed it to the best of my ability and if this is something that triggers you, don't read! You're health is most important!
> 
> That aside, this is my favorite fic I think I've ever written. This and 'Never Far From Home' so I am SOOOOOO HAPPY you guys are finally reading it! I divided this story into three chapter. I was originally going to post it as a one-shot but like I said, I haven't finished the ending yet and the more I thought about it, it just seemed to make since to break it down like this and the other two chapters should be coming out shortly. As you will notice, this fic is heavily influenced by Chicago Med, Season 3, episode 18 but as you will also notice there are major differences! There is also no hybrid OR in this fic but it doesn't really matter to the story.
> 
> I have been hinting to this story for a while now so hopefully it lives up to everyone's expectations so without further adieu, I give you 'These Are The Days'!

The pounding of footsteps.

The whooshing of gurneys.

The wailing of sirens.

The shouts of doctors.

The organized chaos of saving a great influx of lives.

Heavy breathing.

Brows sweating.

Heartbeats racing.

Minds whirling.

Doctors worked quickly to treat the patients being shoved in and out, left and right, desperately trying to keep up with the gunshot victims being rolled in through the ambulance bay; shouting ‘time of death’ with every breath.

There wasn’t any time to think, just do and rely solely on instinct as years of medical expertise kicked in.

“God, this isn’t working! By the time I stabilize one patient five more pop up somewhere else…People don’t have time for me to keep running all over the place; they’re dying before I can even get there. And I need to evaluate surgical candidates, but they’re literally everywhere.”

Ava heard her own voice ring out over the chaos, like a break of clarity in an otherwise hectic storm. Adrenaline coursed through her veins and her cool, steady hands worked swiftly.

Ethan looked up; his hands pressed tightly against flesh to stop blood gushing from a wound.

“I know,” He paused, diverting his gaze back to his patient for a brief moment, “We need to come up with a different plan if we hope to save any of these people.”

Moving out of the way, he let the nurse standing beside him take his place.

Ethan met Ava’s grim gaze before starting to run off, “I’m going to check in with Connor and Ms. Goodwin. See if we can’t figure out how to make things more efficient.”

She watched him disappear in the melee, not having to look when she locked the brakes of the gurney that had been pushed in front of her.

Ava bit her lip, silently wishing him luck and hoping he would be successful before drawing her gaze to the terrified lady lying in the gurney. Identifying the immediate problem, she spoke well-rehearsed words of comfort as she rapidly worked to inflate the woman’s lung before sending her off only to have another person take her place.

Ava shifted slightly on her feet and went through the familiar motions of triage.

Check for a pulse.

Breathe as deeply as she could.

Count bullet holes.

Feel tiny feet pressing into her ribs.

Stop the bleeding, stop the spillage, intubate if needed, place a chest tube if needed; Stabilize.

Ignore her aching back.

Murmur soothing words in a flurry, attempting to comfort both patient lying before her and baby residing in her womb.

Unlock breaks, send the gurney off, strip gloves, touch her stomach briefly, pull on new gloves and move as fast as she could to the nearest person summoning her.

And then repeat.

* * *

“I need a clamp!” Connor barked as he focused on keeping pressure to the unconscious man in front of him, adding pads of gauze to the severed artery.

He ignored the people weaving in and out all around him; some were pushing gurneys and others were running to gather supplies from anywhere they could find them.

A clamp appeared in his peripheral vision and he grabbed it, swiftly clamping off the blood flow. Connor snapped his head up, using the brief break in the storm to see if he could catch a glimpse of Ava but there were too many people crowding the ED.

The patient he’d been working on started to bleed again, the red liquid soaking into his already soaked scrubs. Cursing under his breath, he shouted for another clamp.

“I could use some help over here!” Connor grunted loudly.

Ms. Goodwin appeared at his elbow, “What do you need, Dr. Rhodes?”

He nodded with his head to where his hands were pressing a mountain of blood-soaked gauze next to the clamp he’d placed, “I need you to hold pressure so I can better clamp the artery. I’ve got to stabilize just long enough to get this guy to surgery.”

They worked in a frantic rush to pinch off the artery and stop the man from losing any more blood.

A few seconds, a hastily thrown stitch and a couple of clamps later, Connor glanced at the man’s vitals before unlocking the brakes on the bed and sending him out of the way from where they’d been parked to the side of the ED’s main thoroughfare.

Before Connor could even draw a breath, he heard his name being called by at least five different people from five different directions.

But unfortunately, there were only two ‘Dr. Rhodes’. One of whom was heavily pregnant.

Taking off his bloody gloves, Connor threw them to the side in frustration, worried about Ava and stressed out from running all over the place without any clear direction or plan, which had resulted in not getting to patients fast enough.

He rubbed his face and started towards the closest voice calling for him. Or for Ava. Or maybe for both of them; He didn’t know.

Turning, Connor pinned Goodwin with a dour look, “This isn’t working! I’m being called to too many places at once and I’m going to start losing even more patients if I can’t evaluate surgical candidates quick enough.”

She looked about as stressed as he felt, “Our mass causality plan didn’t account for literally hundreds of victims.”

Goodwin looked away briefly, shaking her head at the horrific scene the ED made. She sighed, devastated but resigned, “We’re just going to have to do the best we can do.”

Ethan came barreling around the corner, interrupting the heavy moment, “People are dying. We need a new plan!”

Connor turned sharp eyes onto his fellow doctor, raking his hand through his hair before donning on a clean pair of gloves, “I agree,” He licked his lips, “Ava and I are running all over the place. We can barely keep up.”

The words ‘_especially Ava’ _went unspoken as Connor once again strained his neck to look in the direction of where he last saw her.

“That’s exactly what Ava just said. I just came from talking to her,” Ethan must have picked up on his concern because he added, “And she seems to be doing fine. She’s been whipping through patients like nobody’s business, like usual. It doesn’t look like she’s in any discomfort.”

Connor met Ethan’s eyes for a second and Ethan gave a short reassuring nod.

Sighing tensely, Connor nodded in relief, “Good. That’s good. Thank you but we still need a new plan,” He gave Ethan and Goodwin another serious look, “We can’t keep going the way we’re going. The ED will collapse.”

“Well, I’m all ears. If one of you has an idea, go for it,” Goodwin looked between the two doctors.

Ethan glanced at Connor before turning to her, “We need to dedicate certain rooms to certain procedures, especially for surgery evaluations then shuttle the patients to where they need to go.”

“An assembly line,” Goodwin nodded slowly, a pleased expression coming over her face, “I like it. Connor?”

She and Ethan glanced back at Connor for his opinion. He gave Ethan an earnest look, “I love it. It’s a great idea.”

Goodwin nodded, “All right, set it up.”

* * *

To say this was not a good time would be the understatement of the century.

Ava took a deep breath and slowly blew it out, trying to ignore the smell of iron in the air. She clenched her eyes shut, praying no one was paying any attention to her as she blindly clutched onto the railing of the occupied gurney in front of her.

Thank god said patient wasn’t coding at the moment. Or bleeding out.

Taking another breath, Ava opened her eyes to see the pale guy lying prone in the bed that she was currently clutching onto, forcing her back into the chaotic reality she’d been shoved into.

She did not have time for this.

“Come on, sweetie,” She licked her lips and murmured to her unborn child, rubbing her bump in comfort, “I want to meet you so badly, trust me but I would be grateful if you could wait at least until tomorrow. Mummy’s a little busy right now.”

The pain that had gripped her belly passed and she glanced at the monitors that she’d hastily hooked to the unconscious man in the gurney just seconds before the contraction had started to make sure he hadn’t died during her laboring.

He hadn’t and was surprisingly, _thankfully _quite stable considering the circumstances.

And Ava was thankful that she had sent her semblance of a team to help unload the wave of ambulances that had just arrived before glancing around to make sure no one else had realized what had just happened.

Of course, no one had.

Everyone, like her, was just trying to hold their own, do their job to save one person at a time and then move on to the next. There wasn’t any time to pay attention to anything else.

Ava took the time to pull the railing up to the gurney, “Rosa,” She called to a passing nurse, “I need someone to move this guy out of the way. He’s not critical.”

The nurse called for some orderly, already moving to unlock the breaks as Ava slipped past her and onto the next person who needed her all the while trying to ignore the unpleasant twinge in her back.

She was thirty-five weeks pregnant. The baby wasn’t due until another four weeks. Right?

As much as she’d tried to shrug it off and focus on the situation at hand, Ava_ was_ concerned because if she was actually in labor, the baby would be born premature.

But at the same time, she knew the doctors over in the Maternity Ward wouldn’t do anything to stop her from giving birth. Four weeks wasn’t enough of a big deal no matter how much it worried her.

Besides, she wouldn’t be able to sit in a bed for hours waiting for the baby to be born knowing she could be down here, in the ED, providing the help it so desperately needed.

“Ava,” She turned her head to see Will beckoning her over to the treatment room he’d been parked in, “I need you.”

_I need you. _That had been the mantra she’d been hearing for the past hour.

Will had already turned back to his patient and she made her weary way over, barely exchanging words with the red-haired doctor as they both focused on doing their respective tasks.

Her mind worked as fast as her practiced hands and she tried to pay attention to what she was doing but her thoughts kept drifting back to the fact that she could possibly be in labor.

She _had_ woken up multiple times last night in discomfort but that wasn’t abnormal. These days she was lucky if she got five hours of sleep without waking up. It seemed like if the baby wasn’t kicking her, she had to go pee and if she didn’t need to pee, the baby was kicking her. It took literal hours of rolling around in bed to find a somewhat comfortable position so she could attempt to sleep.

There had been many nights where she would stare longingly at Connor who was fast asleep beside her, envious of his ability to sleep through her restlessness. During these moments she would contemplate about waking him up so he could share in her misery but most nights, she decided against it.

She guessed at least one of them should get some rest.

Ava tapped on the woman’s stomach to feel for any free fluid as a nurse handed her an ultrasound wand.

She shook her head. If she _was_ in labor, she felt confident that it hadn’t started till after the first gunshot victims had shown up. She’d felt the first real pain about forty-five minutes ago. And she’d been lucky in the fact that the contractions, so far, had only come during transfers between patients or after she’d gotten someone stabilized.

She’d also been lucky that no one had seen yet.

Sucking in another deep breath, she asked for a scalpel and placed a chest tube. She needed to _focus._

This wasn’t like her; she never let her mind wander.

But no one could know. Not Connor. Not anyone. They couldn’t afford it.

These people clinging onto life couldn’t spare her or anyone else.

She and the baby would just have to power through, then she could turn her attention to bringing her first child into the world.

“Ava. Connor’s calling for you. He’s in Baghdad,” Maggie was standing in the hallway, distractedly reading the device she held in her hand before looking at Ava wearily, “Next wave of ambos. Five minutes out. We’re nowhere near done.”

She went as quickly as she came and Ava glanced down at the lady she and Will had been piecing back together, stapling closed GSWs.

He jerked his head towards the rest of the ED, “Go on. I got this.”

Ava gave him a look but was already moving out into the ED, “Are you sure?”

Will gave a sharp reassuring nod, turning back to continue stapling the woman’s head closed, “Yeah, go.”

Her back started to tighten in the now familiar sensation; Ava kept making her way across the busy room to her husband’s side though, only stopping briefly to rub her lower back as the contraction reached its climax. However, April running through the ambulance bay with a small boy cradled in her arms caused her to start moving again, diverting her from her previous path.

The nurse looked up, spotting the surgeon, “I need some help. There isn’t a pulse.”

Reaching the nearest counter, April swiped off the supplies that were scattered across it and laid the child down, Ava meeting them. She looked the little boy over and unzipped his coat before quickly donning her stethoscope to listen to his lungs.

“No breath sounds. April, get on his chest,” She instructed, moving to shine a light in his eyes, “Pupils are dilated and sluggish. We’re losing him.”

Ava looked at April urgently, “I’m taking over compressions. Go get an intubation kit and a Picc line. Run!”

“Got it,” April nodded, taking her hand from the boy’s chest.

Ava quickly resumed compressions with her palm, watching as the nurse ran off into the crowd to find what they needed. By now, the ED was a mess; nothing was where it normally was. Supplies were either somewhere on the ground or they had run out.

And she preferred to ignore the blood puddles that littered the ground.

Ava kept pumping her palm over the child’s heart, marveling at how easy his small chest gave compared to an adult and tried not to think about the two ribs that she felt break under the weight of her compressions.

He couldn’t be more than three and Ava wondered where his parents were. Were they frantically trying to locate him or were they dead along with countless others?

She blinked back tears. She couldn’t start crying. Not now. If she did, she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop.

One of the things she’d struggled with most since becoming pregnant was not allowing her emotions get out of hand. And boy had that been a huge shock.

She was a master at keeping her emotions in check, suppressing anything she didn’t want to be seen, had been the majority of her life, so when she discovered the pregnancy had changed her emotional balance _radically_; she was a little bit at a loss, having to accept that her emotions were much more present and to the surface than normal.

The first time she really realized the change in her emotional behavior was after she’d started crying over a young man who was in need of a valve replacement.

She and Connor had just finished speaking to him and were walking down the hallway when tears started to randomly roll down her cheeks. Connor had looked over, alarmed to see her crying and asked her frantically what was wrong because she almost _never _cried.

It had confused the hell out of her too but upon closer examination of why she was tearing up in the middle of a hospital hallway, she realized she’d been imagining what it would be like if it was_ her_ child, the one growing in her uterus, that needed a surgery that came with risks.

And from that point on, her emotions and mind would always betray her, somehow finding a correlation between her unborn child and the patient she was treating.

She’d cried more in the last eight or so months than she had ever cried in her entire life. Poor Connor hadn’t known what to think when this became her new normal, but he’d gotten used to it by now and so had she…to a point.

Looking at the boy’s face, Ava leaned over to place a light kiss on the side of his head while still pumping his blood though his little body. She wanted him to know that he wasn’t alone and that there were doctors doing everything they could to save him. That’s what she would hope for her child if they were ever in a situation like this.

She shuddered at the horrible thought.

April came running back to her side, arms full of the supplies Ava had sent her for. The nurse took over compressions while Ava grabbed a light to check his eyes.

“How’s he doing?” April asked apprehensively.

The blonde shook her head, “Still no pulse,” She shined the light into his eyes, “We’re too late. Triple zero.”

Ava swallowed hard and looked at April, “He’s dead.”

Everything slowed for a few seconds as both Ava and April felt a wave of grief wash over them at the loss of such a young life. Ava blinked hard before gingerly zipping up the child’s coat, smoothing back his sandy blonde hair.

“April,” She spoke softly, trying to contain the multitude of emotions she was feeling.

She’d already lost so many people today, but she hadn’t allowed herself to really think about it till now, when things had slowed for a moment and the devastation caught back up to her.

She hastily wiped a tear away, briefly touching her belly when she felt the baby give a strong kick.

Ava looked at April, “Can you take him?”

The nurse nodded numbly, obviously affected by the death as well.

A contraction started working its way around her lower back and into her pelvis and this time Ava couldn’t help but sit down, thankful for the conveniently located chair.

April frowned, placing a hand on her shoulder, “Ava, are you alright?”

She grimaced. Ava supposed there was no way the other woman could have missed that.

She nodded and did her best to stand back up to show April there was nothing to worry about, trying to ignore the intense pain in her back, “I’m fine. Just tired.”

April, however, didn’t look too convinced, “Ava, you need to sit down. All this running around isn’t good for you or for the baby.”

She shook her head stubbornly, “I can’t. Connor and I are the only surgeons available down here. The rest are either stuck in traffic or busy in the OR. I’m not stopping until everyone is taken care of. I _can’t_.”

April regarded her for a moment before nodding in understanding. Ava was right; They were hard pressed for help as it was and taking away one of the best surgeons they had wouldn’t help matters any.

Besides, April knew Ava. Once she set her mind on something there was little anyone could do or say to make her change it.

Still, she pinned her friend with a look, “You need to take care of yourself and the baby too.”

Ava opened her mouth to reply when she heard her name being shouted from somewhere in the ED.

“Ava!!! I need you!” Connor shouted again, his voice carrying over the noise.

She gave April a weary glance, “I’m being summoned which proves my point.”

Ava pushed herself out of the rolling chair, nodding to the dead child still laying on the counter, “Take the boy.”

April nodded and gathered the child in her arms. She threw Ava another look who responded with a grim smile, “I’ll be fine.”

April disappeared in the comings and goings of other nurses and doctors to find a place to lay the child. The morgue was no doubt packed with all the victims that had already died.

Connor called her name again.

Ava moved in the direction of his voice and spotted him commandeering Baghdad from across the steady stream of traffic coming in and out of the ambulance bay doors. Sidestepping gurneys being brought into the ED, she quickly made her way over to his side.

She sidled alongside Baghdad’s slid-open glass door, half-hidden by the flung back curtain no one was paying any attention too as she got out of the way of Connor helping the paramedics quickly swing two beds into the room. A terrified little girl was in one; a definitely unresponsive man in the other.

Connor was already assessing the child’s wounds as Ava slipped inside, placing her stethoscope in her ears and reaching for the man’s chest.

The little girl screamed. Ava glanced up, her hands still moving, to see Connor hurriedly soothe the child as he patted her down to find bullet holes. Focusing back on her own patient, Ava heard her husband order the child to be taken upstairs before issuing a few words of encouragement, sending her out of the room as another gurney quickly filled her place.

Ava worked quickly; counting the bullet holes and calculating trajectory to determine possible injuries.

She was so zoned in she didn’t even register her eyes feeling with tears as a result of the physical and emotional pain she was in but trying to block out.

“Ava?” Connor’s alarmed voice caught her attention.

She raised her head to see him looking at her with an extremely concerned expression from across the two beds that separated them. He was still working on the person in front of him, but his attention was most definitely on her.

Ava blinked, surprised to feel a tear fall. She shook head, looking back down to the man she was treating to hide her face and did her best to wipe the few tears that had escaped on the sleeve of her scrub top seeing as her gloved hands were covered in blood.

“Ava honey! What’s wrong?” Connor raised his voice, a hard edge of slight panic showing through.

With a start, she realized she hadn’t answered him. She’d been so focused on keeping her hands moving as she tried to silently work through a contraction. She sighed, relieved when the pain started to diminish.

“I’m fine,” She shook her head, not paying any attention to Connor as she studied the screen of the ultrasound she was now performing.

“You’re crying,” He deadpanned, and she knew he hadn’t believed her.

Well, she wasn’t about to tell him about the labor because the ED couldn’t afford to lose both her and Connor which was what would happen if she let on that she was in any kind of pain. Knowing him, he’d be ushering her to the maternity ward before she could even put up a protest.

But the contractions weren’t really what was making her cry in the first place. It was the combination of the horror surrounding her, the little boy’s death striking a chord, her exhaustion and her physical pain.

Ava swallowed, “A little boy—he couldn’t have been more than three or four. Trampled,” She stopped, sniffing, trying to control her emotions, “April and I tried to save him, but it was too late.”

She finally looked up to meet Connor’s eyes. He was watching her intensely and she was sure he hadn’t really been paying attention to his patient, just going through the motions without thinking about them.

“Ava,” he breathed in concerned sympathy.

The chaotic noise of the ED was in the background as they shared a look across two gurneys occupied by nameless victims.

Connor’s patient started to code, and their gaze was broken as he bit out a curse, hands flying to stop the bleeding, shouting out orders to the tech and nurse standing by him.

Ava’s eyes fell back to the man in front of her, finishing a temporary stitch and finally getting him stable enough to move for surgery. She checked his vitals one last time to ensure her confidence that he would be able to live long enough until someone could get him to an OR before unlocking the breaks and raising the railing to send him out of the room.

Connor must have been able to get his patient stable quickly because he was unlocking the breaks to the gurney and telling the nurse where to take her then he was across the trauma room before she could even blink.

Stripping his bloodied gloves hurriedly and shoving them in the back pocket not holding his clean gloves, Connor reached out for her.

It had only been couple hours since they’d been frantically summoned to the ED, but Connor felt like he hadn’t seen his _pregnant _wife in weeks. He’d of course been focused on the patients that had needed his help, but he’d also been concerned about Ava, knowing that this had to be putting a strain on her body, physically and mentally.

And seeing all these lives dying… He had to take a second to just hold his precious wife and remind himself that she and their unborn child was safe.

“Ava honey,” He gathered her into his arms, and she wrapped herself around him, being careful not to touch him with her bloody gloves. Not that it really mattered. Both of their scrubs were already drenched in blood.

“You need to sit down,” Connor pressed in a low voice before drawing back from the quick embrace and wiping a stray tear that escaped from the corner of her red-rimmed, exhausted looking eyes.

Ava shook her head, stripping off her own gloves to shove in her pocket, pushing away from him as she did so, “No. I’m not sitting down. You need me too badly and you know it.”

She pressed her lips together and took a deep breath to get ahold of herself. All she wanted to do was fall into Connor’s chest but instead she grasped onto that brief feeling of his comforting, strong arms around her because they had to press on; there was still more work to be done.

Connor grasped her forearms, keeping her as close to him as possible, her large belly between them and looked deeply into her face.

This was the first chance he’d gotten to really take in her appearance since they’d arrived in the ED. He had tried to keep tabs on her, to make sure she was okay but they’d been moving around so much and treating so many people that he was only able to get glimpses of her blonde hair as she swiftly moved from person to person.

Her eyes were still watery, her hair slightly disheveled and her face was drawn in exhaustion.

“Ava, you need to stop,” Connor bit his lip in worry, “I can see the tension in your shoulders and you’re tired. I don’t want you to get overwhelmed.”

She knew he was just trying to look out for her, but she’d never really been one for coddling and she certainly didn’t have the patience to appreciate his concern at the moment; she was tired and in pain.

Shaking his hands off her, she forcefully tucked a piece of hair that had fallen into her face behind her ear, “This isn’t my first mass casualty experience. I know how to handle it.”

Connor huffed in annoyance, crossing his arms sternly, “I know you know how to deal with it. Better than most but you’re pregnant and I think we can both agree that your emotions have been a little all over the place as a result.”

His face softened and Ava instantly felt regretful for snapping at him, “And I know the baby has to be putting pressure on your body. I just want you to be okay.”

She swallowed back the tears at the softness of his voice as he cradled the underside of her rounded fondly.

Ava placed her hand on his chest, “I know. I’m doing okay but we have to help these people. The ED is desperate for help and it’ll start falling apart if I’m not here.”

As much as he hated it, Connor knew she was right. They were the surgeons, so they had to be there to actually permanently fix the problems the other doctors were identifying. Everyone else was just preventing death for the moment, he and Ava were the ones that were responsible to keep the victims alive. As much as he wanted to be, he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep the ED afloat alone. He _needed _his wife. He needed his beautiful, pregnant, smart, cool under pressure wife because she was an incredible surgeon and they needed her.

Connor pressed his lips to Ava’s temple just as Ms. Goodwin poked her head into the room, “Are things running smoother in here?”

He stepped away from his wife, nodding gratefully, addressing the administrator, “Bringing patients to us instead of us trying to find them. It’s the best call that’s been made all day.”

“As long as there’s no more running, I’m happy. These days I get out of breath just walking to the bathroom let alone sprinting from one end of the ED to the other,” Ava sighed wearily, her shoulders sagging. She propped her hand on her lower back and tried to relieve the pressure she was feeling.

“Ava. I know we need you, but I really think you should sit down. At least for a few minutes,” Connor frowned, noticing she’d started rubbing where her hand was planted on her lower back.

Connor stepped closer and gently started massaging her hips. She uttered a moan in relief as her eyelids fluttered shut which only furthered his belief that she needed to take a break.

“Oh God, Connor, that feels heavenly. Don’t stop.”

He was about to reiterate his request for her to sit down but she beat him to it, popping an eyelid open and adding stubbornly, “And I’m not resting, not until everyone’s been treated so don’t you even think about trying to convince me otherwise Connor Rhodes.”

Ms. Goodwin had been watching this exchange and pursed her lips to interject, “Ava, you need to take care of yourself. I don’t want any of my doctor’s health compromised, especially pregnant ones.”

Connor shared a grateful look with the administrator. At least someone agreed with him.

There was a commotion coming towards the trauma room they were in and Goodwin moved out of the way as a couple of nurses pushed two occupied gurneys into the room for Ava and Connor to tend to. They moved away from each other and quickly moved to help pull the beds further into the room and out of the hallway.

Ava pulled on clean gloves, already going to work before giving a concerned Connor and Ms. Goodwin a look, “I’m fine. You can stop worrying about me; we need to be focused on the right here and now.”

Thankfully, Connor seemed to believe her because he slipped back into doctor mode as Goodwin left, no doubt to check in on the other doctors. Connor’s hands moved swiftly; his head bent over his patient.

Sighing, Ava bit her cheek, another contraction working its way around her belly as her hands counted bullet holes.

* * *

There was no doubt in her mind now.

She was definitely in labor.

Her contractions were steadily three to five minutes apart and had been for the past hour. They were getting increasingly painful, but she was somehow miraculously able to keep working as if nothing was happening.

She’d even been able to hide it from Connor although it hadn’t been too hard; He’d been too busy treating patients to pay her much attention. Other than a few words of medical talk, they really hadn’t said anything just focused on the task at hand.

Then the ORs filled up and people needed surgery faster than the surgeon’s upstairs could vacate the operating rooms, so Connor converted the doctor’s lounge into a temporary surgical suite which left her the only surgeon manning the ED.

Which meant she had even more people to attend to while suffering through labor pains. Although, it was probably a good thing Connor went when he did because he probably would have picked up on her contractions eventually.

And about thirty minutes ago she had been hastily and quietly informed that there was a good possibility that the shooter was injured and in the hospital so now, when someone was rolled in front of her, she wondered if she was treating the person that was responsible for all this death and destruction.

“Get him in line for an x-ray,” Ava told the nurse while unlocking the brakes on the gurney and switching out her gloves, ready for the next patient.

Ethan suddenly appeared, he, April and Natalie pushing a gurney into the trauma room she’d been parked in for who knows how long, “Ava, he’s lost a lot of blood.”

She’d barely taken a breath before she was taking the lead once again, “Give him 2 units of O-neg.”

“He needs to be intubated,” Natalie slid behind her towards the patient’s head as Ava started surveying his injuries.

“Anterior abdomen stab wound and his belly’s distended. Fast scan,” Ava tapped on the man’s belly and eyed his vitals, waiting for the nurse to hand her the ultrasound wand.

“Where are we at?”

Connor’s voice broke through the buzzing activity and Ava looked up to see her husband standing outside the trauma bay, alert and ready to receive another patient.

“Fast scan’s positive,” She focused on him. She felt like she hadn’t seen him in ages, “Belly’s full of blood. He needs surgery now.”

His eyes lingered on her and she knew he was trying to make sure she was doing okay in the few seconds of time he had before having to rush back into surgery.

“We’ll take him in the doctor’s lounge,” Connor broke the brief charged look they’d shared and looked at the man’s vitals before moving out of the way so Noah could take the patient to their makeshift OR.

He took a few steps but must have thought better of it because he turned back towards her, cupping her elbow to hold her close, “We’re getting close, honey. Then we’re going home where you’ll get a warm bath and take a long nap.”

Connor kissed the side of her head before running off in the direction of the doctor’s lounge.

Ava stared after him, sucking in a sharp breath as another contraction began to work its way from her stomach to her lower back. Unless ‘a bath and a long nap’ was code for staying and having a baby then Connor was in for quite the shock.

* * *

Connor emerged from the doctor’s lounge that had been converted into his makeshift operating room trailing behind the gurney holding the patient that he’d just saved.

The patient that was responsible for all this chaos.

When Jay pulled him aside for those few brief seconds to tell him that that man was the shooter and to not let him off the hook by dying, Connor wasn’t sure what to think.

He was disgusted and angry and a part of him didn’t want to take the time to save that scumbag of a human being, but Jay was right. The shooter needed to be punished and Connor wasn’t about to let him die before that could happen.

But at the same time, it just didn’t seem fair that he would get to live while so many had died and probably still would before it was over with.

He spotted his wife leaning wearily against an occupied gurney. She had two fingers to the woman’s carotid as she watched the monitors carefully. She must have been satisfied with the lady’s vitals because she unlocked the brakes and raised the railing to send her out of the room.

The gurney holding the shooter passed catching Ava’s eyes. Connor watched as her calculated gaze followed it around the corner. Hazel orbs flicked up to meet his and he was moving towards her, his steps slow and tired as she met him outside the trauma room she’d been in.

Connor took off his surgical glasses and sighed heavily, her warm presence beside him comforting.

“Well?” She glanced at him as they both stared where the shooter’s bed had disappeared.

He pointed with his glasses, rubbing his face tiredly, “He’ll live.”

Ava caressed her belly, scoffing bitterly, “How is it that he gets to live when we weren’t able to save so many others? People he hurt! It’s not fair.”

Connor shook his head, “Life isn’t fair. We know that more than anyone.”

His words hung in the air, the dulled beeps of monitors and quiet buzzing of conversation surrounding them as they surveyed the active ED as it slowly turned back to normal.

Instead of organized scrambling full of yelling doctors and harsh blares from sirens and crashing monitors, the emergency department had fallen into a well-working system. They were finally getting something productive done instead of just barely staying afloat. There was a vacancy of ambulance sirens as the hospital slowly caught up to the mass of patients that had just flooded their doors.

Connor ran his eyes up and down his wife’s tense body.

“You look exhausted, sweetheart,” He hovered over her in concern.

She looked paler than usual and there were creases on her forehead, like she was in discomfort. Her shoulders were taunt, no doubt stressed from the day they’d had, and he knew that the baby was adding extra pressure to her body.

“I am tired but I’m sure you are too,” Ava murmured.

“I’m worn out but I’m not the one who’s pregnant,” He countered matter-of-factly.

“Yes, well,” Ava heaved a tired sigh and rubbed her contracting back, “They could use our help upstairs.”

Connor hesitated, wanting to take her home or at least make her rest in an on-call room while he stayed to help but he knew that she was right. They were _both _needed upstairs especially since Ava was the CT attending.

“Yeah, let’s go,” They started towards the elevators when Ava stopped.

“I’m going to run to the bathroom. I’ve had to go for at least thirty minutes. I’ll see you in a few hours? After everything’s back in control?”

She looked a little desperate and harried, but Connor didn’t think much of it, chalking up her abruptly odd behavior to the situation and the added strain of carrying their child.

He nodded, “Alright. I’ll take the even OR’s; you take the odd.”

Connor caught her hand, squeezing it when she tried to go down the hospital corridor, “I love you, Ava.”

Ava swallowed, almost breaking down at his words paired with his physical contact and confessing how much pain she was in, but she knew she couldn’t. She couldn’t be that selfish. She could hold on for a little while longer.

Instead, she looked into those beautiful blue eyes which overflowed with love for her and hoped he didn’t see the pain colored in hers, “I love you too Connor.”

He flashed that knee-weakening, warm-hearted smile at her before letting her hand fall and slipped into the open elevator doors as Ava watched him go in a stupor of love.

Well, it was more like a stupor of exhaustion and pain but whatever.

Wincing, another contraction gripped her belly and shot down into her pelvis. She supposed if she was able to walk through the pain, then it couldn’t be that bad. She passed a few nurses before arriving at the medicine pantry.

Okay so, she’d lied to Connor about having to go to the restroom, but she figured she’d just add it to the list of transgressions she’d committed already by not saying anything to anyone about her labor.

She _would _feel bad about it but at this point she just wanted some drugs and she really didn’t care about what anybody else thought.

Ava rummaged through the sorely depleted pain meds till she found what she was looking for, thankful that no one was in the room. There would be few raised eyebrows to see a _surgeon _digging around for medicine; that was a nurse’s job.

But these were special circumstances and desperate times called for desperate measures.

_Pethidine_. She grabbed the vile.

The drug would take some of the edge off but still keep her clear headed enough to perform surgery and most importantly, it was safe for the baby. She drew up a small dose, not wanting to take any chances of nausea or another side effect from the drug.

Besides, the less medicine in the baby’s bloodstream the better.

Ava glanced around, making sure no one was close by before pulling down her pants and injecting the needle into her thigh.

It would take ten to twenty minutes for the medicine to really kick in but knowing she would have a little bit of relief was already helping her resolve strengthen.

* * *

“Can you put the stitch in?” Ava glanced at Dr. Grayson who was assisting her.

The scrawny red-haired, freckled surgical resident peered into their patients open chest.

“I don’t think so. The angle’s sort of hard,” He squeaked.

Ava refrained from rolling her eyes and sighing in annoyance. She’d been working on having patience with the junior residents because she recognized was once in their shoes but at the moment, she was just so over _everything. _

Besides, _she_ certainly hadn’t overshared her opinion to her superiors like all the residents here seemed to do and she’d never said, ‘the angle’s sort of hard’.

Either he could do it or he couldn’t.

And she was in way too much pain to deal with this.

“If I apply more torque, can you do it then?” She asked a bit impatiently, wincing as another contraction waved through her.

“Got it!” He exclaimed triumphantly.

_Finally. It really wasn’t that hard._

Dr. Greyson would not have been her first choice to assist with this kind of surgery. It wasn’t terribly difficult but it was a trauma so they were going in partially blind and it was to the chest which complicated matters even further but in mass casualty events, you took what you could get.

She’d been OR jumping for a couple of hours, running off of adrenaline fueled by labor pains as she pushed on though the contractions. Checking in on the fellows and lending a hand when needed but then one of the senior residents paged her in a panic because his surgery had taken an expected turn and he couldn’t handle it himself.

As soon as she walked into the surgical suite, she noticed how fatigued the surgeon looked.

He was actually crying; from the stress of the situation or from being exhausted or both, she wasn’t sure, but Ava knew that he was in no condition to perform surgery. Not until he could get himself together.

_She _was in no condition to perform surgery, but someone had to do it and she’d had a lot more experience in these types of situations. However, being in labor was new and not an experience she relished repeating… At least not in the middle of a shooting.

That’s when she’d sent him out and summoned Dr. Greyson because she couldn’t surgery alone, especially not in the amount of pain she was in.

The Pethidine had helped but it was starting to wear off as well as the adrenaline that had kept her going. She barely bit back a moan of pain, her hands stilling as she was finishing the last sutures to close the heart.

“Dr. Rhodes, are you okay?” Annie, the surgical assistant looked at her in concern.

Ava let out a slow breath and quickly threw the last few stitches, thankful the majority of the surgery was finished because she was starting to have trouble concentrating on anything other than the waves of pain coming steadily two to three minutes apart.

Carefully, she handed the instruments back to Annie. She then stepped away from the table, pulling off her bloody surgical gown and gloves before disposing them in the bio-waste bin by the operating table all the while breathing in deep, calculated breaths.

She took off her surgical glasses and looked up to find the surgical team watching her in confusion. Ava furrowed her brows, not really giving them any attention as she suppressed the urge to reach out and brace herself against the wall to let the contraction lessen.

When she felt like she could move without falling she forced out an order to close with wires and slipped out of the OR, practically stumbling to grip sink in the scrub room.

Dr. Greyson was just going to have to fend for himself. She hoped he could manage to close the chest because she definitely wasn’t in a position to help any longer.

Ava barely bit back a sob as another contraction hit her while she hastily scrubbed out. It was starting to alarm her with how fast her labor seemed to be picking up and she knew it was time to get some help. She briefly thought about notifying Connor but by now, she was more focused on breathing through contractions.

The kid must have inherited its father’s flair for the dramatic.

As if her life wasn’t dramatic enough.


	2. Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Our definition of perfect was written when you were born"  
-Life by Sleeping At Last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next installment! The last chapter should be out in a few days! I should finish it soon! Enjoy!!
> 
> I meant to mention this in my first A/N but I have zero medical experience so everything I've written has either been a figment of my imagination stemmed from the show or loosely researched so hopefully everything is sort of believable. I realize that there is little possibility of someone being in labor while continuing to work, especially performing surgery and such but tried to make it as realistic as possible. Our girl is strong so I have no doubt that she could deal with the pain, besides she's as stubborn as all get out so...
> 
> Anyways, happy reading!

Was labor supposed to be this painful?

Everything ached and it took her far longer than she’d ever admit getting as far as she’d gotten. Which was somewhere downstairs; the hallways were starting to blur together. She was so delirious with exhaustion and pain that she hadn’t really been paying attention, just letting her feet take the well memorized path to the labor and delivery ward.

Leaning against the wall, her eyelids fluttered shut as she breathed through another contraction. She could feel the sweat glistening on her forehead as she licked her salty lips in concentration.

“Ava? Ava!” She barely registered the urgent voice that forced its way through her brain’s pain addled state.

She managed to turn her head to the side, prying her eyes slightly open to see an alarmed looking Ethan Choi jogging in her direction. Well, she must have been close to the ED then.

He reached her and grabbed her arm gently, “Ava, what-”

“I can’t do it anymore, Ethan. I just can’t,” She gasped, interrupting him as another contraction worked its way down her back.

Her hands flew up to grip his forearms as the contraction reached its climax and she let her head fall forward, her forehead resting on his shoulder.

Ethan supported her the best he could, clearly taken by surprise as he tried to bend down to look in her eyes, “Ava, are you-”

Once again, his words were cut off but this time it wasn’t by Ava talking. Instead, there was a small popping noise as a rush of water splashed on the hospital floor

Ethan took one look at the small puddle of liquid before giving a decisive nod, “Okay. Yep, you’re definitely in labor.”

“How long?” He asked urgently while he adjusted his hold on her forearms, taking more of her weight so she could focus on breathing through the pain.

Ava let out a shaky breath and noticed how badly she was trembling--the constant pressure of the baby bearing down on her pelvis--and she knew she was closer to delivering than she’d previously thought.

She panted, thankful for the brief reprieve to catch her breath and force out some words, “Only since the shooting but Ethan, this baby is coming.”

Ava was finally able to meet his concerned eyes earnestly, still griping on to him, “I can’t make it.”

Gasping, another contraction waved through her fast and hard and at this point all she could really do was moan and tighten her hold on Ethan’s arms.

“Okay, okay Ava. Just breathe. That’s it, that’s it. You got it,” He awkwardly rubbed her back in a comforting manner as he repeated soothing words, his eyes trained on the clock hanging a few feet away.

When it was obvious the worst of the pain was over, Ethan wasted no time in swooping Ava up bridal style and moving down the hallway as quickly and as carefully as he could, “The contractions are extremely close together and lasting about a minute. And you’re shaking which means you’re probably in transition.”

He glanced down at Ava whose eyebrows were furrowed in concentration, her breathing even but heavy, “Why didn’t you say anything?!”

Her eyelids popped open.

Shooting him a weak glare, she grunted, “And when would that have been? In between counting bullet holes and intubating?”

The baby shifted painfully, and she whimpered, letting her eyelids close again before finishing, “There were too many people that needed my help.”

Ethan shook his head in disbelief, not bothering to respond as he rounded the corner of the ED, “Maggie! I need a bed!”

Maggie’s head shot up, her eyes widening in surprise as April poked her head out of a treatment room, her expression matching Maggie’s. The two nurses shared a look before quickly moving to Ethan’s side.

“Oh my gosh! What happened?! Ava?” The two women tripped over their words, April reaching out to feel the sweating blonde’s pulse, jogging to keep up with Ethan’s hurried steps. Maggie trailed slightly behind to keep out of the way but still watched Ethan carry Ava with rapt eyes.

“She’s in labor. Contractions are about two minutes apart lasting for over a minute. I don’t think we have time to get her to the maternity ward,” He was searching for a bed to lay her in when Ava gripped him tighter and moaned for him to stop moving her around.

Ethan turned to April and Maggie, giving them serious looks, “The baby is coming now.”

Maggie stared at him in alarm, “I don’t have any beds! We’re slammed,” She huffed with agitation before gesturing to the room off to the side of the ED, “I’d offer you the doctor’s lounge, but it hasn’t been sterilized yet. There are still dirty scalpels lying around.”

Ethan’s shoulders dropped in frustrated disbelief as April and Maggie looked at him with wide-eyed dread.

He opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by Ava glaring at him, tears in her eyes as she clutched his scrub top with white-knuckled fists.

“Look, I appreciate how strong your arms are but, I swear Ethan,” Her face contorted in pain as she ground out, “if you don’t put me down within the next few seconds I think I’m going to kill you.”

Her threat lost its menacing tone when Ava practically sobbed into his chest from pain, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I just—I just need to lay down.”

“I know honey,” Maggie reached out to smooth her hair off her sweaty forehead as she messed with her page, “We’re working on it.”

April glanced up from where she’d been counting Ava’s pulse with her watch to call for some help, but Will and Natalie were already sprinting over, Ms. Goodwin and Dr. Charles on their heels.

“What’s going on?” Will’s eyes darted from Ava to Ethan anxiously.

“She’s in labor!”

“I’m in labor, you idiot!”

Ava’s irritated grunt only slightly behind Natalie’s correct statement, the ‘idiot’ part only implied in her answer.

Will frowned but wasn’t really offended. Instead, he joined the others in focusing their attention towards the sweating soon-to-be mother still writhing around trying to get comfortable in Ethan’s arms.

“We need to lay her down,” Ethan’s voice was strained as he tried to help Ava shift onto her side in his arms, but it clearly wasn’t working very well.

Natalie grabbed some gloves, looking around frantically, “All the ED beds are taken! Do we even have any gurney’s available?”

“No, they’ve all been sent upstairs,” Maggie was focused on the device in her hands, “And it looks like they’re absolutely slammed too because I can’t get anyone to see if there’s one to send down.”

“Well, what about there?” Ms. Goodwin spoke up, nodding towards a spot behind one of the larger desks in the ED.

The group followed her gaze, all of them wearing dubious expressions.

“On the floor? Surely, we can find a cleaner, more comfortable place,” Will countered quickly, his eyebrows raised.

“Oh my God,” Ava yelled through a contraction, “I don’t even care. Just somewhere.”

Ethan glanced down at his writhing burden before quickly looking up again, “Okay yeah. We’ll take it.”

“Dr. Charles. Can you get some blankets and lay them down on the floor?” Natalie turned to the psychiatrist who was already moving in the direction of the linen closet.

“Maggie, call OB and get them down here now,” Ethan ordered the charge nurse as he followed Will over to the spot they had picked for Ava to give birth.

Will shoved chairs away from the space, moving them out of the way but also trying to maintain a little sense of privacy for Ava’s sake. He then surveyed the floor roughly to make sure there wasn’t any blood from the day’s events before directing Dr. Charles to spread the blankets in his arms out behind the desk.

“Her water already broke,” Ethan knelt as carefully as he could to lay Ava down on the blankets, helping her turn on her side.

Natalie also knelt on the floor to grab Ava’s hand in support as the blonde suffered through another contraction not even paying attention when April returned from where she’d run off to grab fetal monitors.

The nurse moved to strap the belly bands around Ava’s bump as Will maneuvered around his friends to turn on the machines.

The contraction easing off, Ava flicked her gaze up to the red-headed doctor, “I don’t suppose I can get that epidural now, can I?” She murmured dryly.

He smiled at her sympathetically, “Probably not. Sorry.”

“Maybe if you had said something about being in labor a long time ago, you could have had one,” Natalie gave her a look, laying a sheet over Ava’s legs for some modesty before pulling her friend’s scrub pants and underwear off.

“April, get an IV going and hang a couple of units of normal saline. She’s pretty dehydrated,” Ethan told the nurse after taking Ava’s vitals manually.

Ms. Goodwin slipped between the desk and Ethan to kneel down by the surgeons head, “My goodness Ava. I thought I told you to take care of yourself. Have you been in pain this whole time?”

Ava gripped her and Dr. Charles’s offered hand, licking her lips, “It wasn’t that bad at first, so I pushed through because there were people who needed me.”

She let out a short groan, squeezing her eyes shut as a particularly strong contraction hit, the gentle whispers of ‘breathe’ were soothing and Ava was grateful to finally have her friends by her side after previously suffering through the pain all by herself.

“And I thought first babies were supposed to take forever anyways,” She mumbled as an afterthought, panting in exhaustion.

She’d also been in denial for a while because she was only thirty-five weeks, but Ava didn’t think it was important at the moment. The baby was coming regardless.

She also acknowledged how idiotic it was to not tell anyone before she’d gotten this far realizing she probably wouldn’t be giving birth on the floor if she had, but it was what it was. She couldn’t be perfect all the time and as long as the baby was okay, she really didn’t care at this point.

Natalie poked her head up from where she knelt at Ava’s propped-up legs, “Ava, you’re fully dilated, and one hundred percent effaced but the baby’s still pretty far up the birth canal,” Feeling along Ava’s pelvis and hips, she determined the baby’s position, “The head is engaged with your pelvis but I’m afraid you still have some work to do.”

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” Ava moaned in distain, “I’ve literally been on my feet, running, all day. I thought for sure the baby would be crowning by now!”

“Well, you’re only 35-weeks. The baby probably had to come down farther than a 39-week baby to reach your pelvis,” Ethan deduced while clipping a pulse oximeter on the laboring mother’s forefinger, “Were you any pain before? This morning or during the night?”

Ava shook her head, too tired to speak anymore and allowed April to attach leads to her chest. She really just wanted this baby out so she could rest.

“I’m almost one hundred percent positive that the mass casualty prompted you to go into labor prematurely and that’s why it’s progressed so rapidly,” Natalie mused while looking at the baby’s readings, making sure all seemed normal.

Dr. Charles, who had been silent up till that moment, was watching the machine monitoring the contractions.

He spoke softly, “Ava, you’re starting to have a contraction. It looks like a big one.”

“Okay Ava,” Natalie laid a hand on her friend’s bare knee, “I want you to start pushing on this next contraction. We’re going to try to get this baby born as quickly as possible.”

The doctor shared a look with her colleagues who were all bent over, surrounding Ava’s curled body lying on the floor. They all could see how exhausted Ava was from having to work through the mass causality let alone from being in labor at the same time. They needed to get the child born before Ava didn’t have any strength left.

“Alright, now take a deep breath and bare down as much as you can,” Ethan smiled at her from where he’d joined Natalie at her feet.

Ava bit her lip, squeezing her eyes shut. She gripped onto Ms. Goodwin and Dr. Charles as the administrator helped her prop up more as she pushed.

“That’s it, Ava,” April soothed, holding one of the surgeon’s legs slightly back.

Ms. Goodwin smoothed back some sweaty strands of hair that was stuck to her forehead, “Just squeeze my hand. You’re doing so well.”

Maggie hovered around the circle her friends had made around Ava. She’d gone around to close the curtains to all the treatment rooms so people wouldn’t be compelled to watch the commotion that was happening on the floor. She’d also temporarily given charge of the ED to Doris because there was no way she was missing the birth of this child especially since it was happening in her ED.

“Where’s OB? I want them here especially since the baby will be considered premature,” Natalie glanced at the charge nurse before checking Ava’s progress again.

Maggie sighed in resignation, a hint of annoyance coloring her tone, “Apparently they’re slammed too. They said it would be an hour before they could send someone.”

“Well, baby Rhodes is definitely coming before then,” Will stated with wry smile, “Do we have a warmer down here?”

April nodded, placing a cool cloth on a quietly moaning Ava’s forehead, “I remember shoving one out of the way and into a supply closet during the chaos earlier.”

Biting her lip, Ava squeezed her eyes shut and twisted her head side to side, trying to cope with the immense pain she was in. She’d never experienced something this intense and it didn’t help that she was already beyond exhausted both mentally and physically.

Everything was happening so fast and she prided herself with the ability to stay in control no matter the situation or how quickly it escalated but today her limits were being tested.

She was being overwhelmed with pain and emotionally, she was starting to drown.

It had been one thing after the other ever since being paged to the ED in a panic and it had only been four hours since. She hadn’t had time to process the grief and anguish from declaring so many people dead; the sadness and heartbrokenness of innocents suffering so violently. The strain from being physically in pain herself.

The worry she felt for her child; Not sure whether she should stay and provide the help the city so desperately needed or go and focus on her sweet baby that was about to enter the world. A world that was so broken, she was seeing the evidence up close and personal.

The excitement that it was finally happening but frightened because it was early. This life-altering moment that she’d been anxiously waiting for since the moment she’d found out she was pregnant was being overpowered by anguished cries and the wails of sirens.

Hope, sorrow, pain, joy, heartbroken, love, worry, anticipation, fright…

They were all competing in her mind and she was starting to suffocate.

She was so exhausted.

“Natalie,” She breathed, squeezing Dr. Charles and Ms. Goodwin’s hands, “I’m-I’m getting tired. I can’t do this much longer.”

The group of medical professionals shared a look over Ava’s and head.

Dr. Charles leaned over, “Ava. Hey Ava. Look at me,” She opened her eyes to see the psychiatrist looking steadfastly into her eyes, “You_ can_ do this. I know it’s been a rough day and I know you’re tired and in an incredible amount of pain but you’re strong. You’ve got this and we’re all here to help you through it.”

Ava felt a fresh wave of tears rush into her eyes at the strength and support she felt radiating from her friends. Nodding, she took a calming breath before pushing her feet against April and Will’s supporting holds with her next contraction.

Ethan looked up from where he was assisting Natalie with monitoring the baby’s progress, “Push, push, push, push! That’s it, Ava. Don’t hold back.”

When the contraction passed, everyone relaxed their grips and gave their laboring friend encouraging smiles.

Ava rested her sweaty head against Ms. Goodwin’s chest. She was way too tired to care that this was her boss who was witnessing her giving birth.

“I cannot believe I’m about to give birth on the floor of the ED,” She murmured as Ms. Goodwin swept back tendrils of hair that were in her face while April ran a cool cloth from her forehead to the nape of her neck.

“I’ve seen a lot of things happen in this hospital but this one will definitely go down in the books, that’s for sure,” Ms. Goodwin chuckled.

“Hey, wait a second,” Will frowned in afterthought, “Where’s Connor?”

Natalie’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, “Is he not down here?”

Each member of their small group did cursory glance of the ED except for Ava who was breathing in deep, methodic breaths, blocking out the chatter to focus on the next contraction.

“Ethan?” April questioned as they looked toward the doctor seeing as how he was the one to bring Ava in the ED in the first place.

He shrugged nonplussed, “Don’t look at me! I have no idea,” Ethan looked down at Ava who was obviously not paying attention to their conversation, “Ava?”

Ava barely registered her name, her mind foggy with pain.

“What?” It came out as more of a snap than she’d intended but she _was _in the middle of birthing a child, so she didn’t feel too terrible about it.

“Where’s Connor?” Dr. Charles prompted as they all looked at her for the answer.

Connor? Her eyes flew open, searching for her husband.

She blew out a shaky breath, “I-I imagine he’s still operating on someone upstairs.”

“So, I’m guessing he has no idea you’re in labor?” April pragmatically stated the obvious.

Ava managed a quick shake of her head before curling back up to push with the next contraction she could feel coming on. Everyone resumed their positions, forgetting for a moment that the baby’s father had no idea that said baby was being born.

“Deep breath and push,” Natalie ordered from between Ava’s legs.

Ava’s thoughts were running so fast it was making her dizzy. Her world was fading away and she barely registered heading Natalie’s demand.

She hadn’t realized Connor hadn’t been there. How could she not realize her husband wasn’t present?

When she’d left the OR, she’d had a mission. One goal: To get to labor and delivery before she was literally forced to lay down on the floor and deliver the baby herself because her labor was progressing that quickly; It had picked up so fast, it had genuinely scared her.

When she’d managed to make it to the ED where her friends, who she knew were excellent health care providers, could take over… It was just so relieving to know that she didn’t have to do it by herself anymore.

As soon as she’d seen Ethan, she’d succumbed to the labor. Her brain’s pain-induced fog preventing her from actively realizing that the one person who should be here, wasn’t.

It wasn’t until Will said his name and it’d hit her like a jolt that Connor had no idea she was about to give birth to their child.

She couldn’t believe she had forgotten to get someone to let him know. Or well, not really forgotten, just in too much pain to think clearly, but still.

Now that she realized Connor wasn’t by her side, she felt his absence starkly and she could feel herself starting to lose the little control she’d managed to keep over her emotions.

She _needed _him.

This was one of the most important moments in their lives and he _needed _to be there.

They were about to have a baby. A sweet little person to call their own, to nurture and to love. Their lives were about to change forever and there was no going back. They didn’t want to go back.

They’d been watching her belly grow with every passing day as they so lovingly prepared their house for a child, their friends bestowing gifts and showering them and their little one with so much love.

Ava hadn’t even known she was capable of feeling some of these emotions. She was about to become a _mother_ and her world was shifting into a whole new perspective.

She and Connor been_ waiting_ for this day to arrive and it was finally here in the most unexpected way and she was so afraid Connor was going to miss it.

A sharp jabbing pain as she felt the baby actually move down brought her spiraling back into reality. She gasped, falling back onto Dr. Charles and Ms. Goodwin, “I need Connor.”

Ava shook her head a little too violently as she felt uncontrollable hysterics bubbling up against her will.

“I can’t! I can’t do it anymore,” Her words sounded desperate even to her own ears.

Ms. Goodwin cradled the young surgeon’s head, helping to support the weight of her shoulders before fixing her with an unwavering stare and reiterating Dr. Charles words from a few minutes ago, “Yes, you can. I know it’s so hard, but you can do this. Just think about holding your sweet baby in your arms.”

But she needed Connor.

Ava forced herself to take a deep breath to regain some control before gripping onto Ms. Goodwin and Dr. Charles, her eyes flashing in determination as she glanced up at all of her friends’ faces, “Connor has to be here. I need him here; he can’t miss this. He can’t miss the birth of his first child.”

She swallowed back tears of pain and desperation, trying to work through the pain that just didn’t seem to let up, “I need someone to go get him. I don’t care what he’s doing; if he’s in the middle of surgery. I don’t care, pull him out and get him down here now. He cannot miss this. I need him.”

She wouldn’t do this without him. She couldn’t.

Not that her friends weren’t doing a great job and giving her the support she so desperately needed. She was glad that they were with her, but they weren’t Connor. She needed her husband. Her baby’s father.

Ms. Goodwin smiled at her, rubbing her arm in comfort, “We’ll get him for you, honey. I promise. He’s not going to miss it.”

Maggie appeared in Ava’s field of vision, the nurse grabbing her hand, “Don’t you worry Ava. I’m going right now and personally escorting the father to be,” She grinned confidently, “This is way too important to be left up to anyone else.”

Ava melted, Maggie’s words pulling her back from the edge of hysterics and giving her the reassurance she needed to focus on delivering her baby. She wanted to give the nurse a hug and a kiss, but she supposed there would be time for that later.

“You guys got this?” Maggie assured, already starting out of the ED.

“Oh yeah,” Natalie nodded firmly, “We got this.”

Maggie winked at Ava, “I’ll be back in a few with your handsome hubby.”

And she was gone.

Ava sent up a silent prayer that Connor would get down to the ED in time. And she hoped she wouldn’t pass out from pain and exhaustion before then.

* * *

Maggie ran down the hallway, reaching the stairwell. She wasn’t about to take the elevator. When you were in a hurry, that thing seemed to stop on almost every single floor then doubled back and skipped a few stories before the doors opened to where you actually wanted to go so, she didn’t want to waste any time.

She was pretty sure she would have time to locate Connor, wait for him to scrub-out then run him back down to the ED all before Ava delivered but when she left, it seemed like the contractions were getting more intense, moving the baby more rapidly down the birth canal. And it seemed that Ava was on the verge of delirium, beyond exhausted and so over the pain.

Surgery was on the fifth floor; Trauma and Cardiothoracic on the far end, west wing so those were the stairs she took.

Maggie ran through the main lobby and back into the nurse’s hub which was centralized in the midst of the ORs.

“Bea!”

The older charge nurse looked up wearily.

It seemed like this floor had been hopping too, not near as chaotic as the ED but definitely busy. She imagined the nurses and techs had been run ragged with moving patients in and out of ORs, re-prepping and sterilizing rooms as quickly as possible in between cases.

“Oh, hi Maggie. What brings you to this floor?” She smiled lightly if not a bit strained from the roller-coaster of a day.

Maggie sucked in a gulp of air, catching her breath after running through hallways and bounding up five flights of stairs.

Leaning on the desk, she looked at her fellow nurse earnestly, “I need Dr. Rhodes! Where is he?”

Bea looked slightly startled at her demand, “I’m not sure. He’s in surgery but as to what OR, I have no idea. None of the surgeons have taken the time to log where they’re operating,” Her eyebrows furrowed with concern, “What’s the matter? What’s going on?”

Maggie grimaced in frustration before flicking her gaze up to address Bea, “It’s a long story. You’ll hear about it.”

Then she was off again, leaving the CT charge nurse staring after her more than a little confused.

* * *

"We’ve got a problem.”

Natalie murmured to Ethan and Will where they were huddled, crouched down at Ava’s legs.

All three doctors had been very much aware at how much Ava was beginning to struggle, with the pain and with her emotions. And it was no wonder; she’d been in labor during a traumatic event of epic proportions all the while keeping calm as she’d been summoned to and fro, having to think quick on her feet and remove herself from all the death that was happening.

Natalie herself was exhausted. Still slightly shocked at what she’d just witnessed mere hours ago so she couldn’t imagine what Ava must be feeling, having to deal with the hard work of delivering a child on top of all the emotional stress and exhaustion.

And now they had a problem and they weren’t even in Maternity Ward. Instead, they were going to have to deal with it on the floor of the ED with overtired doctors in charge and no pain medicine.

Ava moaned softly, her face pressed up against Ms. Goodwin’s leg as she gripped Dr. Charles’s hand with one hand, the other fisted in Goodwin’s blazer. There was a constant comforting whisper coming from them both as April hummed quietly, running a cool cloth over the blonde’s sweaty forehead.

Ethan, Will and Natalie watched for a second, dread filling their stomachs before Ethan shared an unbelieving look with Will and Natalie, “It’s stuck.”

He hung his head for a moment, briefly shutting his eyelids in sorrow; Natalie and Will both wearing matching expressions of worry.

Will watched the baby’s vitals, shaking his head slightly before conferring quietly with his fellow doctors, “The baby’s going into distress. Heart rate’s low. We need to get an FSE attached.”

Ava, for the most part, had been oblivious to her surroundings as she focused on pushing when directed or panting in between but she was starting to realize that she wasn’t making progress as fast as she should be.

She could tell there was something off and one glance at Natalie, Ethan and Will’s worried looks confirmed her instincts.

Dread seeped into her voice, “Something’s wrong, isn’t it?” Her heart started pounding faster, worry and fear gripping her with icy fingers, “What’s going on? What’s the matter?”

The group shared a concerned look.

Ava’s eyes flashed frantically as she gripped onto Dr. Charles while April wiped her sweaty forehead with a cool cloth, “I should have delivered by now.”

Ava swallowed, tears rolling into her hairline as she shook her head in denial, “The baby’s stuck, isn’t it?”

Natalie gripped Ava’s bent knees and looked at her intently knowing that there was no use in sugar-coating it, “Yes, it is but we’re going to get through this, okay. You can do this.”

The doctor looked at April, “Give her another bag of saline. She needs more fluids.”

“Nice, deep breaths, Ava,” April soothed, watching the surgeon’s vitals which indicated her blood pressure coming up as she hung the drip bag.

Ethan reached a gloved hand under the blanket, “The baby’s head is crowning,” He peeked quickly, “It must be the shoulder.”

Will pressed along the underside of Ava’s belly and around her pelvis, grimacing as Ava winced in pain, “Sorry Ava, I just need to get a good gage on the position. Baby R certainly is stubborn,” He glanced at her in amusement before adding lightly, “I wonder who it gets that from.”

“Both of its parents, I imagine,” Dr. Charles chuckled, trying to keep Ava’s spirits up because they all could tell she really couldn’t last much longer.

“Definitely the shoulder,” Will reported, coming back around to where Natalie and Ethan were trying to get the head fully born, telling Ava to push.

The baby’s vitals dropped again, and Natalie glanced at Ethan and Will, “This baby needs to come out _now._”

“We can’t do a caesarian, baby’s too far down the birth canal. It’s gonna have to be forceps,” Ethan stated as they started to move quickly to get Ava situated for a fast delivery, moving her body farther down on the thin blanket they had put on the floor before Ava laid down.

April went to grab one of her long legs as Will did the same thing on the other side, all thoughts of trying to give Ava as much privacy as possible gone.

They needed that baby out and they needed it out now.

Ava had appreciated the previous effort in keeping her privacy, but she knew they needed to get the baby out and that was all that mattered so she honestly didn’t care that her half-nakedness was uncovered in the middle of the ED for all the world to see. It wasn’t like that little blanket was doing much anyways.

Something shifted and Ava let out a sob, her control slipping once again.

Clutching onto Dr. Charles, she babbled in slight hysterics, “I’m done. I can’t do it anymore. I just can’t take the pain or the emotions anymore. Make it stop! Please, just make it stop. I need Connor and I want my baby.”

“Sh-sh, honey,” Ms. Goodwin whispered comfortingly, still kneeling on the floor next to Ava’s head and holding onto the young woman, not caring about the nail marks that were surely in her forearms.

The administrator had tears in her eyes at how much Ava was suffering and not only from the pain but from the emotions that Ava probably still had from the day running through her mind.

“Ava! Hey Ava!” Dr. Charles commanded in that sharp but comforting tone he had as he gripped her hand.

Ava forced her eyes open. She just wanted to be done and have her baby in her arms and her husband by her side.

She’d never been this wishy washy in her life. She almost laughed at the absurdity of it all but figured it would probably just add to the hysterical image she was probably making for her friends, so she refrained.

“Ava, I know you’re in pain. And I know you’ve had such an emotional and physically hard day, but you can do this. You need to do this. For your baby. And Connor will be here soon, just think about having that baby in your arms with Connor by your side.”

He rubbed her arm in support and Ava could feel herself starting to relax again, “I know you can do this. You’re the most stubborn and determined doctor I know, and you don’t give up.”

Dr. Charles looked comfortingly into her watery eyes and she nodded in understanding, a new fire roaring to life, his speech grounding her and bolstering her spirit.

Natalie, seeing that her friend had been pulled together, gave her fierce look, “Alright Ava. I’m going to have to do an episiotomy and I’m not going to lie; it’s going to hurt. I can’t give you anything with the baby’s head so close but you’re gonna have to push when we tell you. You got me?”

Ava briefly closed her eyes before taking a deep, calculated breath, “I’m ready.”

She gave Natalie her most serious look, “Just get the baby out as safely as possible.”

The two shared a look only mothers could understand before Natalie handed the scalpel to Ethan then squirted betadine all over the place.

Ethan looked at Ava, “You ready?”

At her sharp nod, he cut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...what did you think? Do you think Connor will get there in time? How do you think Ava's doing? It's been a pretty intense day for our favorites!
> 
> Title was taken by Sleeping At Last's 'Life' which was literally written about his wife giving birth to their first child so this was perfect. I know Ava hasn't had the child yet but I really wanted to use another song title for the last chapter so I decided to use this title for this chapter. And I will probably be using this same title for some other fic down the road because I love it so much! I really encourage you to go listen to this one as you read! It fits the situation almost perfectly.
> 
> Thank you so much and don't forget to comment!! Stay tuned for the last chapter in the next couple of days!


	3. I'll Be There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'll be there when you need me,   
You can count on it every time,  
It won't always be easy,  
With every tear that falls from your eyes,  
Oh, you have me completely   
I'll be there when you need me...  
-I'll Be There by Foster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Finally and I'm already crying. I absolutely love this fic and I can't wait for you to read the ending!
> 
> The song this chapter is named after sounds so full of hope and even though it's not talking about a parent/child relationship, I think it's a perfect message for Ava and Connor to send their baby. And this is how Ava and Connor feel toward each other so...perfect song for this chapter. Go listen to it, it's (in my opinion) the perfect background music for this story.
> 
> Alright, go read!!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I don't own Chicago Med or the song.

_Where are you??_

Maggie ran to yet another operating room.

There were fifty on this level. Twenty were for CT and twelve were for trauma and she knew Connor could be in any one of them, but she’d been to ten of them with no sign of the man in question. A few surgical teams had told her he _had _been there but left to assist another team; they didn’t know which OR.

She burst through scrub room doors and hastily put on a face mask before bursting into the OR. The surgical team looked up in alarm. Still no Connor.

The nurse shook her head in disbelief. He was normally readily available for all situations! Except when it came to his kid being born apparently.

“Have you guys seen Dr. Rhodes?” Maggie asked a little breathlessly.

The surgeon operating seemed to get over his shock and nodded, “He was in here about thirty minutes ago, but he was called to a more difficult case in OR 16, I believe.”

Finally, someone knew!

She threw a brief “Thanks!” over her shoulder before she was off again, running down the hallway, avoiding people and gurneys.

_14…15…. 16!_

She turned the corner bursting into the observational room and sighed in relief when Connor looked up from where he was doing surgery. Not caring that she could just talk to him through the glass, Maggie bypassed it as she pulled her face mask on to step into the OR.

Connor’s eyebrows furrowed, “Mags. What are you doing in here?”

“Getting you,” She said urgently, her eyes wide, “Come on! We gotta go. Your patient stable?”

He stared at her blankly, scalpel in the air, “Yes, but what’s going on.”

“We need you in the ED. It’s an emergency,” She prompted hurriedly, getting a little impatient.

Maggie didn’t want him to miss it, but she also thought Ava might appreciate telling Connor herself. Or well, she wouldn’t be telling him anything. He would find out for himself once they got to the ED but still.

Connor looked at her oddly, a bit aggravated, “Can’t you get another doctor. I’m sort of in the middle of something.”

The nurse nearly growled in frustration, “Connor, will you just come on! It has to be you.”

He still looked hesitant, but he put the scalpel back on the tray and moved away from the table to take off his gloves and gown. Maggie practically shooed him out of the OR, prompting him to quickly scrub out.

She grabbed his shirt and drug him out of the room before practically running down the hallway as he reluctantly followed her.

“But what about…”

Not letting him finish, she threw “Don’t worry. I paged Dr. Latham to finish,” over her shoulder and kept moving.

“Maggie!” He caught up with her, running beside her as she made her way to the stairs, “What is going on? You could have just paged me if it’s as serious as all this.”

She glanced at him in disbelief. As if she was going to let a page summon him for something this important!

“There was no way I was leaving this up to the predictability of a page,” Connor glanced at her, now starting to look alarmed.

“Is someone having heart issues? A contusion? An aortic dissection?” He rattled off, trying to figure out what he was stepping into and what was so important that she pull him out of surgery for.

Maggie looked at him in slight amusement, “Connor, just calm down. You’ll understand when we get there.”

They were halfway down the hallway leading to the ED when they heard the scream. Maggie put a little extra burst of speed on in alarm. It didn’t sound like things were going well.

“Um, Maggie,” Connor apprehensively gulped, slowing down, “That sounded a lot like Ava.”

His eyes flew to hers as he picked up his speed again, his voice deep with warning, “Why did that sound like Ava?”

Maggie flashed him a worried smile as the surgeon took off running the down the rest of the hallway leaving her to run behind him. They rounded the corner and Connor stumbled to a stop and she almost collided into him.

Connor’s heartbeat doubled and he blinked hard to make sure he wasn’t seeing things.

Ava was on the floor, half-hidden by a desk, her bare legs held back by Will and April. Ethan was yelling push, Natalie was taking over-exaggerated breaths, obviously trying to get Ava to continue taking deep, calculated breaths and Dr. Charles and Ms. Goodwin were on the ground by his wife’s head, continuously talking to her and smoothing her hair back as tears ran down her cheeks.

“Oh my God,” He gasped frantically; Ava’s desperate, pained cries got his feet moving.

He ran, swiftly jumping over chairs to get behind the counter, barely restraining himself from shoving people away from his wife so he could take his place by her head.

Dr. Charles’s eyes flicked up at Connor’s alarmed face for a brief second before rubbing Ava’s hand comfortingly, “Ava, Connor’s here. He’s here now.”

As soon as the older doctor started moving out of the way, Connor was on his knees, barely registering helping Ava support her head and shoulders as she pushed at Ethan and Natalie’s command while April soothingly counted to ten.

Then it happened.

But, before he had a chance to do anything, Ethan was clamping and cutting the cord as Natalie whisked the baby away, Will going with her over to the warmer they had off to the side. Ava just collapsed onto him, sweating and breathing heavily.

He didn’t know what was happening; Why it seemed like there was too much blood or why his friends had taken his child away before he’d even had the chance to get a glimpse.

Connor had a million thoughts running through his head. Everything seemed to be happening in slow-motion, but he couldn’t force himself to say anything or go anywhere. He was just numbly staring at the bloody mess on the floor where Ethan was in between his wife’s legs, doing something.

He’d probably feel upset and angry at the fact that Ethan was in between his wife’s naked legs if he wasn’t so dazed. And he was too shocked to realize that he was probably delivering the placenta.

He honestly didn’t know what to do or how to help. It was like his years of practice being cool, calm and collected during medical emergencies had flown out the window. He was just frozen.

Until Ava shifted against him, weakly murmuring, “Is the baby okay?”

Connor’s eyes rose to where Natalie and Will stood in front of the warmer while Ms. Goodwin hovered over their shoulder.

He worked his throat before finally managing to say anything, “_What happened_?”

Well, he knew what happened but the last time he’d seen Ava they were parting ways to perform surgery and she definitely hadn’t said anything about going into labor. Going into labor early he might add because this wasn’t supposed to happen for another four weeks.

And for it to happen that quickly, especially her first… She had to have been in labor well before then.

He looked at her frantically, “Ava, how long has this been going on?!”

“Connor,” Ava licked her lips, ignoring his question, “Go check on the baby. The heart rate dropped in the birth canal.”

A sinking feeling formed in his gut at the immense worry he felt all of a sudden, his previous questions being pushed to the back of his mind for the time being.

Because that was _his child _and the thought at something happening to it was overwhelming. Ava looked about as panicked as he felt, although she looked significantly more tired.

Jumping up, he slid around April. He couldn’t hear any noise other than Natalie and Will’s hushed directions and that was what worried him most. No baby sounds.

As he approached the bassinet, his world stopped turning. Natalie and Will were vigorously rubbing a little body tinged with blue but thank God, he could see the baby’s vitals slowly come up.

“Come on, sweetie, come on,” Natalie was mumbling, also looking at the vitals, “Your mama worked so hard to meet you.”

His baby. His precious little baby. Half him, half Ava. He couldn’t imagine anything more perfect.

Connor forced himself in between Will and Natalie before starting to do his own cursory exam with his eyes, doctor’s instinct kicking in. Or maybe it was a little bit of father’s instinct too.

Will smiled and slapped him on the back, “Congrats man.”

All Connor could manage was a feeble smile, reaching for his stethoscope, “Did you listen to the lungs and heart. Sometimes abnormalities don’t show up on the ultrasounds. Especially since she’s early and her heart rate dropped, she may have fluid in her lungs, and she could develop pneumonia, or she could have infant respiratory distress syndrome.”

His hand trembled as he gently pressed his huge stethoscope in comparison to that tiny chest, listening in relief to the clear lungs and strong heartbeat which was free of any murmurs.

Natalie smiled tiredly, “Connor, you can relax, she’s perfectly healthy. A bit small, maybe a night in the NICU as a precaution since she’s only 35-weeks but other than that, she looks good.”

Connor swallowed, nodding mindlessly before blurting out, “It is a girl, right?”

Will rolled his eyes as he watched his friend stare dazingly into the bassinet at the squirming child, “Yes it’s a girl. You’re looking right at her. Or did you fail Anatomy 101?”

“Well,” He flicked his eyes toward Will, “I just wanted to double-check, just in case. Ava would not be happy if we had to return all the dresses she’s bought. Besides, the nursery is definitely decorated for a baby girl.”

This time Natalie joined Will in rolling her eyes as they observed Connor watching the now mewing baby timidly, like he was expecting her to disappear.

“You can pick her up, Connor,” Natalie prompted, looking at the baby who was probably searching for her mother’s milk, “She isn’t going to break, and she needs the comfort of her parents. Besides, I’m sure Ava would like to meet her daughter.”

About that time, Ava frantically called his name, “Connor! Where’s my baby? Is she alright?”

He looked over his shoulder to see her sitting up on the floor with the help of April, her face full of worry and desperation.

His face broke out into a smile and tears sprung into his eyes; he was beginning to actually process what had just happened.

“She’s perfect, Ava,” He choked out, turning back to the baby in the warmer.

“Well then, bring her to me,” She responded impatiently, her voice filled with desperation.

Connor blew out a shaky breath, reaching for the baby with trembling hands. There were only two other occasions he remembered being this nervous: When he proposed to Ava and on their wedding day.

He swaddled her in the blanket she was laying on and carefully scooped her up, his hands covering her bottom, back and head, she was so little.

The baby let out a quiet squeal, her fists jerking in the air and Connor quickly brought her to his chest, bouncing gently as he slowly walked over to an anxiously waiting Ava.

Looking into that peaceful little face--her rosy cheeks, her tiny nose, her pink, puckered lips, her eyelashes brushing her reddened ivory skin…

It hit him. He was father and this was his daughter.

His little girl.

He blinked back tears as he knelt oh so gently by his wife’s side, his eyes never once leaving his daughter’s face.

Ava’s fingers were immediately skimming the baby and Connor shook himself enough out of the trance he’d fallen into to relinquish his hold on their daughter. As soon as he made a move to pass the baby, Ava’s small hands were cradling her little body, pulling her to her chest.

April moved out of the way to allow Connor to support Ava’s shoulders and move closer to her head. The nurse came around to the other side to help Ava expose more skin so she could snuggle the baby closely to her chest.

Ava was oblivious to all this movement, her focus solely on the baby she was finally holding.

Her eyes searched the little girl, looking for anything out of the ordinary and memorizing all her little features as she ran the hand not cradling the baby up and down her form.

She triple counted her finger and toes and felt for her soft pulse all the while staring at the child in worry. It wasn’t until a good five minutes later of examining her baby did Ava feel the anxiety and fear loosen in her chest.

Once she was satisfied everything was okay, Ava really looked at the baby for the first time, immediately seeing Connor’s nose and her lips and the wisps of dark brown hair on top her head.

Tears sprung into her eyes and this time they weren’t tears of pain or fear or sadness. They were tears of utter joy and relief.

Her heart bursting with love for the little baby she’d just met face to face for the very first time.

Ava took the baby’s tiny hand in hers, marveling at the way the baby wrapped its tiny fingers around her pointer finger with so much trust.

Tears ran down her face, mingling with the thin layer of sweat she’d worked up as she shifted further into Connor’s arms, her head lolling against the crease between his arm and chest. The baby’s cheek was pressed up against the swell of her breast, her tiny hand laying curled up on her chest. She brought her own hand up to softly stroke a fingertip up and down the supple flesh of the rosy cheek.

Ava closed her eyes, tears getting caught in her eyelashes as she bowed her head to press her lips to the baby’s face, inhaling that newborn scent deeply. She felt Connor’s arms wrap around her as he pressed his lips to her temple.

“Just look at her Connor,” Ava whispered in awe, staring lovingly into her daughter’s face, “Oh, isn’t she just perfect?”

Connor choked out a happy sob, gazing at his daughter on his wife’s chest; Ava herself leaning slightly on his chest. He brought his right hand up to hastily wipe away the tears that had gathered in his eyes as he held Ava’s shoulders in the other, his fingertips barely brushing the top of the baby’s head.

Ava shifted, looking up at where Connor was sitting mostly behind her, really seeing him and addressing his presence for the first time since he’d arrived in the ED. Before, she’d been too distracted by the pain and too focused on making sure their baby was alright to really notice him, but she was extremely grateful he’d made it in time. And she was so relieved to have him with her in this moment.

“I told you you would cry,” She mused lazily, smiling softly, tears in her own eyes.

He laughed throatily; his eyes rimmed in red as he dropped another kiss to the top of Ava’s sweaty head.

“You’re crying too, you know,” He weekly defended, his tone light and airy and she knew he really didn’t care if they were both crying or not; They were way too enraptured with the tiny bundle in Ava’s arms.

Connor’s hand joined Ava’s in stroking the baby’s facial features and playing with her tiny hands and feet.

The little girl squirmed, suddenly opening her eyes fully for the first time, making Ava gasp, “Oh,” She breathed in wonder, “There are those beautiful eyes.”

She laid a hand on Connor’s arm, “They’re so blue… She’s got your eyes, darling.”

“Yeah,” He swallowed, mesmerized by the bright blue orbs.

He breathed, shaking his head, “I can’t believe we had a baby.”

Ava barely glanced at him; her eyes still trained on their daughter, her voice colored with amused disbelief, “_We_? _I _was the one who had the baby,” She cut her eyes at him, “Without any kind of pain meds I might add.”

Her lips then upturned into a suppressed smile as she readjusted the blanket swaddling the child, “But yes, we have a baby.”

She looked up and met his eyes lovingly as he gave her an extremely contented smile before laying a chaste kiss on her lips.

Ava hissed as she felt a zing of pain between her legs, sharply turning her head to see Natalie and Will starting to stitch her up.

“Sorry Ava,” Natalie shot her a sympathetic smile but continued to pull the dissolvable sutures through the cut skin to close the episiotomy. Ava only felt stinging sensations and the tug of the stitches so she knew Natalie must have given her some local numbing agents although she could definitely still feel the pain from an unmedicated childbirth.

Now that she’d been pulled out of the dream-like state she’d been in, absorbed in the new baby in her arms, she felt throbbing in her pelvis and a strong burning in between her legs. She was also starkly aware of the uncomfortable hardness of the unforgiving tile floor she was lying on, her legs and butt full of pins and needles.

Another sharp prick had Ava squeezing her eyes close and turning further into Connor’s chest.

“Sorry,” Natalie apologized again, focused on pulling the last stitch, “I’m alllllmost finished.”

Connor also seemed to have been pulled from their little awe-filled bubble because he shifted and glanced around the ED, “Okay, now can someone tell me what exactly happened?”

He nodded towards his daughter, “Other than the obvious?”

Ava licked her lips. She supposed he deserved for her to come clean even though she knew he wouldn’t be happy with her.

“Well,” She looked at Connor then back at all her friends who were also waiting for explanation, “I think I went into labor about forty-five minutes into the mass casualty but at first, I wasn’t sure and I chalked it up to the stress of the situation.”

“You definitely knew what was happening when I found you,” Ethan gave her a pointed stare, his arms crossed, “You were in a lot of pain.”

At that, Connor gave her a hard look full of disbelief, panic and disappointment but his voice was raw with emotion, “Ava, why didn’t you _tell _me?”

She pursed her lips grudgingly, “I was going to,” She defended crisply, “But the pain was manageable—for the most part and we were needed in the ED. I wasn’t about to leave when so many people were in desperate need of my-_our_\- help and I knew if you knew then you’d be taking me to the Maternity Ward.”

He looked at her like she was crazy, “You bet I would have!”

Ava grimaced before looking back to the baby moving subtly in her arms, “Besides, I thought I’d have a lot more time before I actually gave birth,” She gave them all another matter-of-fact look, “The labor picked up quicker than I thought it would.”

“Oh God,” Connor shook his head in disbelief, burying his face in his hands, “How did I miss you being in pain? How did I now notice? I should have picked up on it!”

Ava raised an eyebrow, “You can’t seriously be blaming yourself! I didn’t tell you and we were a little preoccupied. Besides, nothing bad happened… I’m fine and so is our daughter.”

“You just gave birth on the floor of the ED, without any type of pain medication and I almost missed our daughter’s, our first child’s, birth,” Connor deadpanned, his mouth set in a thin line.

Ava had the courtesy of looking ashamed and she could practically feel all of the reprimanding gazes from the rest of her friends.

She hadn’t said it went ideally. In hindsight, she should have told him she was in labor instead of suggesting going upstairs to help out in the ORs, but it was what it was, and she couldn’t do anything about it now. She was just glad the baby was okay.

“What if something had gone wrong? What if they weren’t able to get the baby out in time?” Connor rubbed his face in frustration, exasperated, “What if your placenta had ruptured?”

He looked at her, his face torn, “If I’d lost you or our daughter,” He shook his head, blinking back tears, “I _can’t_ lose either of you.”

Ava blinked back her own tears and reached up to run her hand through his stubble, “Oh Connor, I’m truly sorry I didn’t say anything but the baby and I are okay, and we were still able to save a lot of people today.”

Overwhelmed, Connor closed his eyes, leaning down to nuzzle Ava’s neck, slipping his hand to rest gently over his daughter’s body, “You’re absolutely amazing, you know that right? I didn’t think it was possible to fall even more in love with you, but I have.”

If he kept that talk up for much longer, they would be having another child sooner than expected.

Ava swallowed, bending her neck to kiss the back of his head. She never believed she’d have a man who loved her this much nor did she believe she’d have a daughter with him but here she was, and it was better than she’d ever imagined.

The child she still had cradled securely in her arms began to squirm, letting out those soft newborn wails and she quickly turned her attention back to the little girl.

“Shh, sweetheart,” Ava rocked her arms slightly, trying to readjust her half-sitting position leaned up against Connor, “Your mummy’s got you.”

“Here, Ava. I found her a hat and some socks,” Maggie moved around all the various equipment that had been brought over when she was in labor to hand her the tiny pieces of cloth.

“And the Maternity Ward is prepping you a recovery room as we speak so we can get you off of this floor,” April added, looking at Ava who was sprawled out half against Connor, her bottom half covered with haphazardly thrown blankets while her scrub top was pulled down as far as possible without being too indecent so the baby could lay skin to skin.

So, she was basically naked, slightly hidden behind the counter in the ED with her friends gathered around her. Ava couldn’t bring herself to care. It seemed that being in labor and so deliriously tired had thrown her modesty and self-righteousness out the window.

The baby had settled down some, only mewing periodically and Ava knew she was probably hungry but as long as she wasn’t screaming her lungs off, Ava was going to wait till she got into an actual room. She wanted to preserve her dignity. Although, she probably didn’t have much left after the whole labor experience in front of Dr. Charles of all people. And Ms. Goodwin. And Ethan and Will.

Connor shifted behind her to sit fully on his butt, his legs on either side of her hips as she laid flush back against him instead of him kneeling awkwardly beside her, holding her up with his knees and the side of his chest.

“How does everything look?” Connor turned his attention to Ethan, Natalie and Will and Ava knew he was shifting into overprotective husband who was also a doctor mode, “Was the placenta in one piece? Were there any bleeds?”

Natalie chuckled, “Everything looks fine Connor. Other than a small episiotomy scar, everything should return back to normal with time.”

Ava hoped. She didn’t even want to think about the damage that had been done down there because it sure hurt like hell.

Ms. Goodwin cleared her throat, “So, I think what we really want to know is,” She smiled, “Does this child have a name?”

“Yeah, or do we have to keep calling her ‘Baby Rhodes’ for the rest of her life,” Dr. Charles chimed, raising his brow wittily.

Will nodded emphatically, “You’ve held her name hostage for the past five months and I think we’d all like to know.”

Connor and Ava glanced at each other and Ava gave Connor a smile, nodding slightly before looking back at the expectant expressions their friends wore.

Connor cleared his throat, rubbing Ava’s arm while looking at the baby lying in her arms, “We tossed names back and forth and argued and read countless baby names until we finally settled on one like I’m sure all expectant couples do.”

He gazed at Ava before turning his attention to his friends that were gathered around them, “However, Ava actually came up with her middle name before we even knew she was a girl and I was a little hesitant but she eventually convinced me,” He looked back to Ava lovingly, giving her quick kiss to the temple then continued, “But her first name took us quite a bit longer.”

Ava smiled, tucking the blanket around the baby’s neck before also looking up at her friends, “Connor had mentioned it but only in passing. It wasn’t until after hours of arguing about names at home and in the OR did we stumble across it again and we both realized we loved it. And not to mention it went well with her middle name and Rhodes.”

They paused, both looking down at the baby laying peaceably on Ava’s chest covered by a hospital blanket.

“Well?” Natalie impatiently broke the silence, her arms crossed; April and Maggie mirroring her stance.

Ava and Connor shared another look, chucking at their friend’s desire to know their daughter’s name.

They had settled on the full name about a month ago, but they’d decided to keep it a secret until the baby’s birth much to their friend’s displeasure. Ava gave Connor a soft smile to let him know that he could be the one to reveal the name.

He met his friend’s eyes again, grinning proudly, “Without further ado, I would like to introduce you to our daughter, Rebecca,” He looked at Ava tenderly, “Elizabeth Rhodes.”

“For Connor’s mother,” Ava added, gazing into his eyes just as tenderly as she ran her free hand not holding the baby through his hair.

“And Rebecca because well, we just fell in love with the name and it also just so happens to start with an ‘R’ like ‘Rhodes’,” Connor smiled, tears pricking his eyes again.

Ava nodded lazily, “We thought about trying to keep with the ‘C’, but we couldn’t settle on anything we liked that went with Elizabeth.”

“It’s beautiful, guys,” April held a hand clasped to her chest, Ethan’s arm around her waist as she peered over to look at the baby now slumbering in Ava’s arms, “And so is she.”

At that moment, the baby cooed in her sleep, raising a jerky fist, like she knew they were talking about her.

Ava ran a finger down the newborn’s face, “My sweet little Rebecca, do you like your name? Your daddy picked it out,” She lowered her voice, shifting the baby slightly to hold her head in her hands so that the newborn’s little body was pressed up against her stomach, “And I think he did a pretty good job. Rebecca Rhodes.”

She sighed in content before testing out the baby’s name again, liking the way it rolled off her tongue, “Rebecca Elizabeth Rhodes. It suits you.”

Connor took one of Rebecca’s socked feet, kissing it gently as he breathed out a ‘Rebecca’ and Ava knew that he was also getting acquainted with the name now that they had a face to assign it to.

There were sniffs heard around the small circle their friends had cocooned them in, standing around like a private fortress. She was beyond grateful for them and she appreciated the silence in which they stood to give her and Connor this moment with their new daughter while also providing a buffer between them and the rest of the ED.

Although, there could be a natural disaster happening in the waiting room and Ava didn’t think she’d even notice or care unless it was affecting their child’s safety.

She glanced up to see Natalie dabbing her eyes and Maggie’s fawning expression as she also, like April, peered at the baby, but Ava was surprised to detect what she thought were tears glistening in Ms. Goodwin’s eyes. Maybe the stress of the day was starting to get to her; Ava smiled to herself, but she had a feeling it had something to do with the brand new life lying in her arms.

Ava still had all of the emotions she was struggling with while she was in labor but to be honest, they’d faded a great deal now the baby was actually here and perfectly healthy as far as they could tell. She was numb with euphoria and love; she thought her heart might burst from her chest she was so in love with the baby she held in her arms and the man by her side.

And she had a feeling Connor felt the same way judging by the look on his face and the tears he’d shed.

Becoming a mother was the most awestriking, unpredictable experience she’d ever had. She would never be able to put it in words.

Ava looked up from where she’d gone back to gazing into Rebecca’s face, this time actually taking in her surroundings beyond the circle of her friends for the first time since leaving to go upstairs to help out in the OR’s. She noticed there were still trails of blood on the floor and kits and gauze scattered around but other than that, the ED looked fairly normal.

She glanced back down at her daughter, shaking her head in disbelief—What a roller-coaster of a day.

Only a few hours ago had she been calling time of death’s and only a few hours before that had she been awoken by Connor rubbing her belly and giving her sweet kisses, getting up to start her day, not expecting to treat the aftermath of a mass shooting and definitely not expecting her daughter’s debut into the world.

How quickly things could change.

Just hours ago had she been immersed in the aftermath of a cruel, broken and confused world. Bloody and messy caused by one man but now she was staring into the face of her beautiful, perfectly innocent baby who had no idea what had just transpired in the room she was born in. How much death this room had seen today.

“What an incredible way to end such a terrible day,” Dr. Charles spoke up softly.

He must have been thinking along the same lines as she had.

“We see so much death, saw the worst of humanity just today. So much heartbreak and sadness and fear and desperation,” He shook his head, gazing at the baby still in Ava’s arms, “Every single day we see it. So much hopelessness and it’s enough to make you wonder sometimes if life is even worth living. Is there really enough good to outshine the bad. Especially on days like today.”

Dr. Charles sighed, “But then, the treatment worked, the surgery pulled off, a new, good memory made,” He nodded towards Rebecca, “A baby born and it’s all worth it again.”

“This little baby today, born in the same room that just held so much death and suffering; people’s lives ended today but a new one just began. She has endless possibilities ahead of her, a bright future surrounded by parents who love her and this family to support her always.”

Everyone was looking at the unsuspecting, innocent child, tears in all of their eyes, “A symbol of hope and light.”

Connor held his girls, pressing kisses into Ava’s temple. A symbol of hope indeed, one full of tomorrows.

“To Rebecca,” Goodwin spoke softly.

“To Rebecca,” Will murmured, drawing Natalie close as she whispered, “To Rebecca.”

Ethan clasped April’s hand tighter, “To Rebecca.”

April smiled as she followed, “To Rebecca.”

Maggie grinned, “To Rebecca.”

“To my Rebecca,” Connor’s voice broke as he bestowed a kiss to his daughter’s forehead.

Ava smiled brightly, tears shining in her eyes as she joined Connor in kissing their baby, “To our sweet little one. What a life you shall have.”

And there, in that Emergency Department, on that floor, were they all reminded of what they fought so relentlessly for: Life. It’s so precious.

To Rebecca Elizabeth Rhodes; What a way to enter the world.

And what a force she will be.

Just like her parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well?? Oh my gosh, please tell me you liked it! But if you didn't, that's okay. Hopefully the ending wasn't too cheesy...
> 
> Was the gender what you were expecting? I mean, I know you had a 50/50 chance but I'm curious to know what you thought I would have gone with.
> 
> And what did you think about the name?? I have had it picked out for forever and I think it is just the cutest name and goes really well with Rhodes. And I wanted the baby to be named after Connor's mom to kind of pay homage to her. I want to write more about that decision (from Connor and Ava's POV--not mine :) and how it affected him because we've seen him carry around baggage from the whole situation (which we don't really know much about...I plan on building more of a background through the fix-it's). But as for naming his daughter after his mother, I'm sure he probably hesitated. 
> 
> Now, I've decided I'm going to write an epilogue (obviously I haven't had enough with this story yet--I've only been working on it for like a year :) ;)) I'm not sure when but hopefully it'll be out within a couple of weeks. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and please COMMENT!! I need to know your reactions :)

**Author's Note:**

> So, how do you like it so far?? What do you think's gonna happen? Please, please tell me your thoughts! I've worked really hard on this one and I'd really like to know what you guys think!! 
> 
> I also wanted to mention the title is from Coldplays 'Fix You' which is probably pretty self-explanatory as to why I picked it. 
> 
> I hope there aren't any typos but I've been over it too many times, changing things around that there are bound to be a few so hopefully you'll look past that!
> 
> Thank you so much as always! See you soon with the next chapter and another fix-it upload!


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